When was the last time you heard about sexual assault?
Have you ever wondered what exactly runs through an assaulters mind?
Most of the times we think that rape is all about sex.. But going into the minds of this rapists or assaulters; from that drop out drunkard who rapes young village girls, or that house help who assaults your son, to that boss who sexually assaults his female workers, they have one thing in common a desire of power and being in control.
Sexual assault has no gender. Male or female we could all fall victims.
But all thumbs are fingers but not all fingers are thumbs, 91% of rape victims are women. 60% having been raped in between 16 and above. 40% having been raped as kids by family members or family friends.
Surprisingly women are prone to be victims of rape as they enter adulthood (16-29). Having to live with fear of being raped, or being stigmatized in case of rape (trauma, possible pregnancy or STD, being viewed filthy, being blamed by the society).
Most cases of male rape happens in their childhood years (3-16yrs), the risk decreases with increase in age.
Psychologist says 1 out of five male rape victims carry on the habit of rape, in desire to regain power during those years or days of powerlessness when he was a victim.
So what exactly is the problem?
Who should we blame for a broken system of morality and humanity?
Aren’t we the ones who have embraced a “RAPE CULTURE”?
– Normalizing cat calling, eve teasing and street harassment (touching women inappropriately).
– Embracing an explicit music industry that objectifies women as means of sexual gratification giving men a sense of entitlement to a woman’s body.
– A mentality that rape is an everyday thing and can never end. The fact that there are new cases every day about children being raped no longer surprises us, coz we have embraced the fact that rape is here to stay!
– Justifying some bad behaviors as just human normality or a new trend like watching porn (revenge porn or rough sex) and glorifying excessive drug abuse which are some of the triggers in sexual violence. (In most cases the assaulter was under the influence of alcohol but this doesn’t justify the fact he wasn’t aware of what was going on)
– Use of stereotypes like “men will be men” / Boys will just be boys justifying rape or assault as a normal nature of manhood. That his manly desires or nature allows him to lust on a woman even to the extent of rape.
– Jokes or memes that gratify women as objects or any sexual assault. “grab them by the pussy”
– A cliché that women are unable to actually mean NO. Too unstable or complicated to understand consent, and that women have a duty to serve the demands of male sexuality.
– The injustice that involves sexual assault crime. Neglect of rape kits in hospitals. Rape culprits never being convicted making it feel like one can get away with “rape”. When was the last time we said enough is enough of these rape cases and we actually took it to the streets as one (Men and women) and demand justice for kids and women or do we just sympathize with them at the comfort of our homes and blame it on our government as always.
– A mentality that women are the only victims. Though rare in most countries, men can also be victims of rape (in some countries men are the most victims). With the injustice that involves female sexual assault imagine how lightly a male rape case can be handled no justice at all.. They are told to “kaa ngumu” and they hardly tell anyone storing anger and bitterness and may end up being rape culprits.
– Weighing the burden on women teaching them how to prevent rape and protect themselves than majoring on men and teaching them how to control themselves.
– Victim blaming. “If you report rape be ready for your behavior and morals to be scrutinized even to the smallest details (what do where, where do you go to? clubs? )
– Equating masculinity with sexual dominance men bragging about sexual assault as a way of proving masculinity to each other.
Relearning gender values/behaviors and changing our mentality should stop being viewed as a threat to manhood but as a chance for change.
We are all part of this culture. Some issues like assault are not about feminism or chauvinism, that when I raise an assault issue by a man, as a man you are ready to raise a problem with us women. All we do at the end of the day is throw tantrums of who is more victimized in this society but we are all victims of a broken society..
This society is you and me and we are the change, let’s face the facts and mend our society – let’s bring humanity and morality back.
It’s not always about which gender is mostly to blame or has failed, it’s always about how humanity will be upheld at the end of the day.
